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Do Your Kids Share a Bedroom?

By Kate |

I shared a room with my sister… I remember the day we got BUNK BEDS – it was pure joy and we were thrilled. I also vividly remember my sister climbing into my bed so we could whisper and comfort each other for hours the night our parents told us they were getting a divorce.

As the mom of a boy and a girl, I assumed my kids would never live through the ups and downs of sharing a bedroom with a sibling. Until recently, that is. My husband is obsessed with the idea of our kids sharing a room and has been relentless is making his case for it. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure why he likes the idea so much. (I think maybe he’s laying the groundwork for a man room dedicated office?) He’s even agreed that if we do move them into the same room I can redecorate and get new coordinating boy / girl bedding and bedroom furniture.

I really like that my kids have their own space, but if I’m being honest they rarely use their rooms for anything but sleeping. We will be moving this summer so it would be a good time to put them in the same room – he’ll be 4 and she’ll be 2. Is that too young to share a room?

Do your kids share a room? Do you have a boy and a girl in the same room – what are the unique challenges? At what ages did your kids start sharing a room and when do kids need their own space (if possible)?

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This post is one in a a series sponsored by Sugar and Spice Decor – the first place I’ll be shopping for kids bedding if I create a shared boy / girl bedroom. Wouldn’t the coordinating kids sheet sets by Caden Lane (Modern Vintage in Pink and Blue) look amazing?

You can now find all of your favorite Caden Lane prints and styles in twin and full size bedding at Sugar and Spice Decor.  The  Caden Lane bedding collection includes reversible duvet covers, decorative shams, throw pillows, and sheets sets.

Kate

Kate

Kate started The Shopping Mama™ in January 2009 when, after graduating law school, she traded in online legal research and writing for locating the best products for children. She shops three kids ages 7, 5 and 2 from their home in Germany. Her military family is making the most of the overseas assignment by traveling Europe every chance they get.

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  1. 1.

    Our kids share a room. We have 7, and the older two (girls), middle two (boys), and younger three(girls) share a room. The older two sort of have their own room. The oldest lives here, and the next oldest lives with her dad. We have our children share a room as soon as they are transferred into a crib. We feel that younger kids can share a room easily, and the older kids need their own space (studying, alone time,etc). Good luck deciding what to do.

  2. 2.

    Our two girls have shared a room since the youngest was about 1. I honestly don’t know what they would do if we tried to separate them. I really think sharing a room for sleeping creates a special bond. I’m a paranoid mom so we still use a baby monitor even though they are 5 and 3 and at night I can hear them talking to each other as they fall asleep. Good luck with your decision!

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  4. 3.
    Kristen M

    My children (girl, 9 and boy, 7) share a room by choice. They started out with their own rooms until 2 years ago when they were forced to share for 6 months while we were in a transition with moving. They were constantly fighting for their own space but this may have had as much to do with moving to a home half the size of our last one. Anyway, after moving again into their own rooms they mostly opt to sleep in the same room. I grew up sharing a room with my sister but I was skeptical of the brother/sister combo. So far it has been very healthy. They change in their own rooms & can take a break from each other when needed (they sleep in a bunkbed when they share rooms). As my daughter gets older I’m sure she will transition back to her room.

  5. 4.
    Debbie

    My kids are 17 months apart, and have shared a room since my daughter was 1. We had them share, mainly because we lived in tiny apartments and were forced to do so. They did pretty well in our first apartment when they were little, but in our last one, they were terrible. My son (5) is a night owl, and my daughter (3 1/2) is a complete morning person. It was difficult because he would keep her up late, and she would wake him up early, and then they’d both be onery all day because they were tired. We are finally in a house and they have their own rooms. We’ve been here a month and it has been complete heaven. I used to have to stay up late breaking up their fights (sometimes until midnight!), and I’d usually wake up to the sound of one of them crying because the other had woken them up too early. It was very frustrating, to say the least. I know my circumstance is a little different since they were forced to be together. They do fight like most siblings do, but they also do play quite well together. Whether or not that has anything to do with them sharing a room for so long, I don’t know. I have noticed though that since we moved into our house and they finally have their own rooms, they get along much, much better. Just my observation.

  6. 5.
    Lena K.

    Unless you NEED the space, it doesn’t seem necessary to put them in the same room. They will probably need their privacy as they get older, so why put them together then take them apart?

  7. 6.

    My kids have shared rooms off and on… My husband needed an office since he works from home, so we moved our two oldest (boy & girl) together when they were about 3 & 5. We got them bunk beds and they LOVED it! Then we moved and they had their own rooms for a bit but would BEG to sleep in the same room every night.

    Then we had a baby girl, so I put the two girls (age 5 & baby) together but my daughter was always waking up the baby from naps & the older two were begging me for the bunk beds back. So we moved them back together and they love it. So much, that not only do they share the same room, but most mornings I also find them crawled into the same bed.

    Do they fight? YES! But not any more than when they had their own rooms… I figure eventually they’ll need their own space and privacy, but for now they LOVE sharing a room… and the baby (who is actually now almost two) has her own room with QUIET naptimes!

  8. 7.

    I love those coordinating sheets! If I had a boy and a girl I would probably keep them in their own room so that they could each have their girlie and boyish stuff. Plus I think about how it might be fine for when they are young but when they are teens I doubt they would still want to share.

    Now I have 4 boys but only 3 bedrooms. So my 6 year old is in a room by himself (its small) and the other 3 are in the bigger bedroom. It is insane. There is not enough closet space for 3 and not enough room to have 3 dressers, 3 beds, etc. We do plan on getting the twins (3.5) a bunk bed soon so that should help.

  9. 8.

    My twin daughters have always shared a room and my 5-year-old son and almost 2-year-old daughter share a room now (she was in our bed until 6 months). We actually have 4 bedrooms, but the largest bedroom is in the back of the house and we use that as an office.

    My older daughters are almost 9 and they talk about separate rooms, but they usually come to the conclusion that they don’t want them.

    My son and daughter do great together. He’s very sweet with her and he gets up to play with her when she wakes up. The only problem is that not all of his things are safe for her to play with without someone else there to supervise. For now, she’s in a crib, so it’s not bad, but when they try to play together in there, she’s taken a few tumbles off his bed.

    We’re moving soon and we’re really looking for 5 bedrooms so all of the kids can have their own room. I really don’t think my daughters will want to be separated, though.

  10. 9.
    Marin

    My boys (now 4 and 3) have been sharing a room since the younger was reliably sleeping through the night. They love it but we don’t. They have a very hard time settling to sleep unless both are exhausted. Otherwise, it’s a bedtime battle every night. They don’t wake each other up at night but they do wake each other up in the morning. Also, the younger does not have respect for belongings which makes it tough for my oldest, who is more responsible.

  11. 10.
  12. 11.
    Malia

    My brother and I shared a room from as far back as I can remember until we were old enough to ask for our own space (sometime in elementry school). I don’t remember fighting about it ever, but my mom might remember differently :-) We were pretty granola, so didn’t have a lot of stuff to fight over. And we ran around naked in sprinklers all summer so no one had to leave the room for the other to get dressed. I kind of think having my kids share a room would be cool, but we don’t know what (if) number to will be.

    Anyone put a baby in with a 2ish year old?

  13. 12.

    I love the idea of kids sharing rooms but not in a boy/girl situation past the infant year. My best friend grew up sharing a room with her brother all the way into her teen years and it was a nightmare for the both of them.

  14. 13.

    I have 3 girls and they are all in one room. The 4.5 and 3 year old share a queen size bed and the 17 month old is in a crib. It has its ups and downs it is hard when they wake each other up or when you can not separate them when they need a break from each other. On the up side my girls love sleeping together and they love that it is their room. I shared a room until high school with my sister and like you when we got bunk beds in junior high we were thrilled. I think it teaches great life lessons to share a room. AS for the boy/girl thing not sure about that.

  15. 14.

    My boys are 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 and just started to share a room. I always shared a room with my sisters – all 3 of us in a SMALL room. I shared a bed for a long time with my little sister. I don’t recommend that!

  16. 15.
    Lisanne

    My girls are 4 and 2(birthday yesterday) and they have shared a room for almost a year now. They have the cutest bunk bed that looks like a dollhouse. We turned the extra bedroom into a playroom and painted it bright colors with a chalkboard on the wall and a big world map on another. I love that all the toys are contained in there and that I don’t have to worry about tripping over toys if a child cries in the night.

    My youngest brother is only 7 and he has his own room, but prefers sleeping in my sisters’ room. They are 10 and 12 and it doesn’t bother them a bit. I think sharing a bedroom with boys and girls is fine until the teen years. If we have a boy we’ll probably set up the crib in the girls’ room and keep the playroom.

  17. 16.
    Joy

    Our daughters share a room. They started sharing when they were 2 and 4 years old. They recently got bunk beds (they’re now 4 and almost-6 years old). I shared a room with my little brother growing up. I didn’t really care until I became a preteen/teenager. Then I wanted my own space!

    There are many drawbacks to sharing. My girls will stay up talking and will wake up the baby (who is in the next room) because they’re too hyper and want to play. I think keeping your kiddos separate is the best plan if you’ve got the room to do it.

  18. 17.
    Jana

    My daughters are 5 and 2.5 and have been sharing a room from the time we moved the little one into her crib at 7-8 months. The older one did incredibly well with the adjustment of having a roomate and certainly preferred that to knowing that the baby was sleeping in our room! We plan to keep them together for as long as possible even though we do have an extra bedroom. My hope is that sharing a room will help bond them and I do believe that’s working. One of my greatest joys is listening to them talk and giggle before bedtime every night. Our upcoming concern is moving the little one into a toddler bed within the next 6-12 months. I’m a little nervous about giving them both the opportunity to roam…together!

    We had planned for the kids to share a room regardless of gender. You could consider talking to your pediatrician about it at your next visit. While I was pregnant with #2, I read a lot about room sharing for opposite gender kids and some people suggest that you discontinue it when the oldest is in kindergarten or first grade. The other option I read a lot about if that’s not possible or desired is to create some kind of barrier in the room so that they each have private space (some of the suggestions were curtains, bookcases, etc).

    Good luck with whatever you decide!

  19. 18.
    sissymyst

    I think they need their own space and shouldn’t share a room, especially if it is a boy & girl. 2 girls and 2 boys fine, but eventually they need their own space too. (my twin nieces are 9 and shared a room up until a month ago…they were ready for their own space too :))As for living in Germany, typically rooms are much smaller than here in the US. Do you know how much room you will have?

    • .
      KateKate

      The room we are considering for their shared room is enormous. It’s plenty of space for two kids (and their stuff). We just need to decide if we want them to share or not.

  20. 19.

    We have three kids all sharing one pretty small room. The oldest is almost 5and has shared with her brother (now 3) since he left the bassinet in our room. Our third, another girl 14 months old, moved into their room when she left the bassinet. It works well for the most part, although there are bumps in the road. I think it makes them better sleepers because they are used to hearing each other stir in their sleep. A hundred years ago, when families were larger and didn’t have the same privilege of space many do now, children shared rooms and sometimes beds regardless of gender. But I think the best answer to your question is to do what feels right for your family and your children. If the kids are excited about sharing, let them share; and let them be the judge of when it is time to stop sharing.

  21. 20.
    Lisa

    My sister and I shared until we were teens. We had a play room and shared a bedroom. I have a 3 year old son and 7 month old daughter and plan on having them share a room for a few years. Sharing a room is important and teaches life lessons of compromising and I know will make them close siblings. I’m going with a red white and blue theme.

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