This may seem like obvious information but it’s shocking to me nonetheless. No, really, I paid attention in health class, I knew this all along. But just like it took me until the end of our Hypnobirthing class to realize that we were preparing for what was about to happen to me, it took me until week 35 to fully accept that I am going to have to give birth. And then my husband and I will have a BABY. To take care of. Forever. By ourselves. And pay for everything he or she will ever need, for a really long time.
Clearly, I’m exaggerating. This is what the last few weeks have felt like for me, though, one startling realization of the obvious after another. I suppose it’s normal, my midwife told me so at our last appointment, but it’s still a little unnerving. There isn’t one bit of what lies ahead that I don’t want or think I can’t handle, and I’m still more excited than nervous. We are prepared, as much as we can be, and eager to meet our son or daughter, but it’s all starting to feel frighteningly “real”.
I have finished my last week at work. I’m quite ready to spend a few weeks without much going on, except little projects around the house, trips to the farmers market and swimming as much as I can. We have arranged for our house to be deep cleaned the first week of March (my version of nesting). I have purchased the last of the items on my etsy wish list to complete the nursery. We have all the major equipment needed before baby arrives. My mom finished the bedding and it just needs to be washed so I can put the room together. We bought “coming home” outfits, a girl one and a boy one, which needs to be washed and packed. My husband and I talk all the time about what’s left to do and how we think/hope it may go and we both have to-do lists we’re working on. My mom and I talk obsessively about when she should leave from Ohio to get here in time for the birth, and I think we finally have settled on a plan. I have arranged for friends to come get our dog when we leave for the birth center and keep him until we get home. Ready, totally ready.
Yet I’m absolutely sure I have no idea what’s about to happen to my life, my body, my heart. As ready as we feel to be parents, as fully stocked as our nursery can be, as excited as I am to meet my baby and finally become a mother, there is no way to be fully prepared. So onward we go, into the final weeks of pregnancy, our last days as a family of two. We shall make the most of our quiet mornings in bed, the freedom to leave the house on a whim, the time to ourselves we will never have again. Oh my goodness, I’m about to HAVE A BABY!